that which shall remain unsaid

Posted in self on May 26, 2009 by alissaclare

Taken from the glorious Ms. Sizzle.  Things that shall remain unsaid.

 

“I think you create your own drama.  And that you thrive on it.”

“I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

“I think you did it for attention.”

“I don’t think you should have a baby.”

“I don’t trust a thing you say as genuine”

“I think therapy has actually made you worse.”

“I think you could try harder with your mother-in-law.”

“Your strict rules have created a fearful child.”

on the verge of vegetarianism

Posted in self on May 18, 2009 by alissaclare

Not too long ago my mom and I discovered the joys of purchasing meat from our local farmers.  I have been a proponent for supporting my local farmer’s market for years, however the one I usually frequent does not carry local meat aside from the slab of bacon here and there (which ohmygoshsogood).

This month, my mom’s book club is reading Barbara Kingslover’s book “Animal, Vegetable, Miracle”  documenting her family’s quest to eat local for a year.  Due to the topic of the book, my mom, always one for a theme, decided that she wanted to make a meal for her book club using only local ingredients.  Thus begun our relationship with the local meat suppliers.

We started off small, a few cuts of chicken a couple weeks ago which were so delicious.  The meat wasn’t blotchy, there weren’t fat globules all over, and it tasted so good.  We spoke with the farmer and found that he only feeds his chickens corn and gives them plenty of room to roam which builds up their muscles.  Also?  A happy chicken is a delicious chicken.

Ok, I’m glad I know that my chicken was happy.  That it ate corn, that this is the man that slaughtered it for me…. or am I?

Next, I bought a couple pork chops from an amish farmer.  They looked great, so much better than what you find in the grocery store.  I marinated them in some white wine, soy sauce, chicken broth with ginger & garlic.  I sauteed them on the stove last night.  They looked good, they smelled good… 

then

oh my gosh

there is blood coming out of that bone

like blood blood

it’s red like my blood

it’s coming from that bone

oh my gosh

that pork chop too

the same thing

it’s not purple blood, or brown – it’s red

my pork chop is bleeding in the pan

and I got quesy.

I really do want to know where my food comes from, but I never realized the little haze I’ve lived my life in when it comes to meat.  I’m now facing the fact that I may only be ok with eating meat, because it’s so over processed when I buy it in the grocery store that I forget it’s even meat.  I’ve been able to separate it from the animal for so long, that I’m not sure I can stomach actually knowing where it came from and remembering, as I’m eating it, that it was an animal once.

I can’t really justify going back at this point, I believe in eating local, feel passionate about it even.  And since I know where to find local meat, I don’t feel comfortable going back to my naive state.  However, I’m not sure I can move forward as a carnivore any longer.  

I’m not complaining about making the shift, however, my husband might.

franketta & alexander

Posted in random on April 30, 2009 by alissaclare

gg

My grandmother (who passed away this past November) and my grandfather (who passed away in 1996) on their wedding day.

reminder

Posted in random on April 28, 2009 by alissaclare

The burrito at Chipotle REALLY IS as big as your head.  You don’t need to eat the entire thing in one sitting.

Thanks,

Your Stomach

workplace etiquette

Posted in random on April 21, 2009 by alissaclare

Hey you, new guy.  Yeah you, the one who has been here for 3 weeks?  Listen, I don’t know how things worked at your old place of business, but here, when you call a meeting to start at 3pm, you don’t sidle on in to the President’s office and chat him up for a half hour while we wait for you to start the meeting THAT YOU SCHEDULED.

Way to respect other people’s time.  Poor poor taste.

By the way, it’s 3:30pm, you’re still in there talking.  I leave a 4pm and I’m not waiting for your meeting to end.

vanity fair

Posted in self on April 14, 2009 by alissaclare

I love Terroni, and not just because she has supplied me with a blog post, but because it’s apparently from Vanity Fair, and I also happen to love Annie Liebovitz.

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Peace.  Being secure with my purpose in life, confidence in my ability to be a good person, mother, wife, friend etc… Knowing without a doubt that I’ve done the best I can and lived life to the fullest every possible moment.

2. What is your greatest fear?

Losing my resiliance at some point.

3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

Worrying too much about things out of my control.

4. What is the trait that you most deplore in others?

Cruelty.

5. What living person do you most admire?

Hmmm… that’s a tough one.  Anyone who has used their good fortune to love and help others.

6. What is your greatest extravagance?

Fresh flowers?  Although I haven’t partaken in a while.  Good food.

7. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Prudence.

8. On what occasion do you lie?

When I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings and it isn’t necessary to be that honest.  Where a kind word is better than the whole truth.

9. What do you dislike most about your appearance?

My eyesight – sometimes I leave the house thinking I look great, I catch a glimpse of myself later and eh…. not so much.  I think mine eyes are playing tricks on me.

10. What living person do you most despise?

Oprah maybe.  She has way too much pull.  And isn’t very nice.

11. What words or phrases do you most overuse?

NICE.  I also clap and point a lot.

12. What or who is the greatest love of your life?

Evan for sure, I’m kind of amazed daily by how much I love that man.  Also, my love for my nephew and nieces kind of scares the crap out of me, if I love them that much, how the heck am I going to love my own kids?

13. When and where were you happiest?

As much as our trip to Bonnaroo a few years ago sucked (I’ll save that story for another time/place) there was one day, the day we got out and drove to Chattanooga and went to the acquarium and the combination of being free and doing something we loved together, then going back to Bonnaroo to see Radiohead live.  Might be one of my happiest times.

Also, the time I flew out to San Francisco to visit Sandra and we got lost for hours on Hwy 1 trying to find a trail head, but had one of the best conversations of my life, with one of my dearest friends in one of my favorite places.  It made me very happy.

14. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I would stop worrying so much and just take the plunge, any plunge.  I would give up control and stop thinking everything has to be a plan.  I would have more confidence in myself.

15. What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Throwing out all of my emotional junk and preconceptions and allowing myself to choose to love Evan.  Greatest decision I ever made.

16. If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?

Probably some sort of dog.

17. Where would you like to live?

Currently I want to move to Chelsea or Dexter Michigan.  I would love to live in San Francisco sometime.

18. What is your most treasured possession?

My engagement/wedding rings and my jewelry from my grandmothers.

19. What is your favorite occupation?

I love what I’m doing right now.  Working at a museum would be cool too though.

20. What is your most marked characteristic?

My compassion?  Planning prowessness?

21. What do you most value in your friends?

Sincerity.

22. Who are your favorite writers?

Ann Patchett, James Frey, Rob Bell

23. Who is your favorite hero or heroine of fiction?

Anne of Green Gables

24. Which historical figure do you most identify with?

Sarah – continuously laughing in God’s face and not embracing his power and faithfulness until I’m knocked on my butt by it.

25. What is it that you most dislike?

Repetitive voids.

People that don’t respect others.

25. What is your greatest regret?

I try not to ruminate on that.

26. How would you like to die?

In my sleep.  And very old.

27. What is your motto?

“It’s part of my charm”

unemployment

Posted in home on April 7, 2009 by alissaclare

I believe that unemployment has brought me closer to my husband.  Of course my views on this matter are only one side of the coin but I’m enjoying this phase of our life right now.  I enjoy having a husband who doesn’t come home every night, defeated from his day.  

I’ve always been so proud of my husband, his integrity, his loyalty, his high standards and I’ve fallen in love with him all over again seeing those things come to the surface once again, untainted by “it’s business” by budgets and numbers and a request for him to forgo doing his best and instead, do his fastest.

I’ve fallen in love with him all over again for his confidence in himself as a man.  For seeing as clear as day, once again, that his job does not define who he is as a person.  That it is not an intgral part of his identity.  

I’ve fallen in love with him again for his loyalty, for not letting being let go by his brother-in-law hurt his relationship with family.  For letting it make it even stronger, for reaching out and offering himself as a sounding board to said brother-in-law when he knows the stress of potentially losing his business or laying off another employee has to be debilitating at times.  

I’ve fallen in love with him again for his desire to stay busy, for his time management, for his conscious decision every day to make the most of this time, to do some soul searching and use this time to his advantage, to make our home, to plan our future, to focus on himself and us.

I know this economy stinks, and that in so many ways we are so blessed to be able to live on my income, to be in a place where the fact that he is unemployed doesn’t keep us up at night.  To appreciate the sacrifices we’ve had to make, and each other even more.

Because of this, I can’t say this was a bad thing that happened, him being laid off.  I can honestly say it was a blessing.  This blessing has stripped away everything, and has brought me closer to my husband, my love, my best friend.  For that, I am truly thankful.