Archive for May, 2009

that which shall remain unsaid

Posted in self on May 26, 2009 by alissaclare

Taken from the glorious Ms. Sizzle.  Things that shall remain unsaid.


“I think you create your own drama.  And that you thrive on it.”

“I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

“I think you did it for attention.”

“I don’t think you should have a baby.”

“I don’t trust a thing you say as genuine”

“I think therapy has actually made you worse.”

“I think you could try harder with your mother-in-law.”

“Your strict rules have created a fearful child.”


on the verge of vegetarianism

Posted in self on May 18, 2009 by alissaclare

Not too long ago my mom and I discovered the joys of purchasing meat from our local farmers.  I have been a proponent for supporting my local farmer’s market for years, however the one I usually frequent does not carry local meat aside from the slab of bacon here and there (which ohmygoshsogood).

This month, my mom’s book club is reading Barbara Kingslover’s book “Animal, Vegetable, Miracle”  documenting her family’s quest to eat local for a year.  Due to the topic of the book, my mom, always one for a theme, decided that she wanted to make a meal for her book club using only local ingredients.  Thus begun our relationship with the local meat suppliers.

We started off small, a few cuts of chicken a couple weeks ago which were so delicious.  The meat wasn’t blotchy, there weren’t fat globules all over, and it tasted so good.  We spoke with the farmer and found that he only feeds his chickens corn and gives them plenty of room to roam which builds up their muscles.  Also?  A happy chicken is a delicious chicken.

Ok, I’m glad I know that my chicken was happy.  That it ate corn, that this is the man that slaughtered it for me…. or am I?

Next, I bought a couple pork chops from an amish farmer.  They looked great, so much better than what you find in the grocery store.  I marinated them in some white wine, soy sauce, chicken broth with ginger & garlic.  I sauteed them on the stove last night.  They looked good, they smelled good… 


oh my gosh

there is blood coming out of that bone

like blood blood

it’s red like my blood

it’s coming from that bone

oh my gosh

that pork chop too

the same thing

it’s not purple blood, or brown – it’s red

my pork chop is bleeding in the pan

and I got quesy.

I really do want to know where my food comes from, but I never realized the little haze I’ve lived my life in when it comes to meat.  I’m now facing the fact that I may only be ok with eating meat, because it’s so over processed when I buy it in the grocery store that I forget it’s even meat.  I’ve been able to separate it from the animal for so long, that I’m not sure I can stomach actually knowing where it came from and remembering, as I’m eating it, that it was an animal once.

I can’t really justify going back at this point, I believe in eating local, feel passionate about it even.  And since I know where to find local meat, I don’t feel comfortable going back to my naive state.  However, I’m not sure I can move forward as a carnivore any longer.  

I’m not complaining about making the shift, however, my husband might.